Only about three more months left before 2015 ends, and about two and a half, my mom swings by for the last time to stay in this house before we all leave as one.
The weather has been some sort of a whirlwind romance between the hot and cold. It is like every time you think it is safe to keep the long sleeves, tucked away somewhere you don't have an easy access to - the cold blast hits you and you're scrambling for the top shelves to get those long sleeves out. But hey, at least the biting cold is out of the way.
(Just a little sad I did not get to use my alpaca hoodie as often I would have liked)
It's quite a lovely day today. The sun is out, and there is still a slight cool breeze in the air. I am dreading summer where I don't have an access to the air conditioning. But rough it out, hey?
I've been having really really strange and vivid dreams. Could be part of what I am watching, reading and feeling. There is always a similar theme in all these dreams and I think I might be lonelier than I'd dare to admit. Sometimes I wonder if I am still a little in love with the past and I am trying to live in denial, and maybe this is how it was supposed to be and not the kind I was used to in the past where it bordered on the line of dysfunctional. It's been a while since I have dated, and often, I wonder who will I date next? And if I will treat her the same way I treated my past. Always a push and pull, and the word of "goodbye" always on the tip of my tongue.
Maybe it's my nonsensical perception of ideals. I have no idea. But I really do hope that I will treat my future with more respect and dignity than I ever did in my life and I hope that I am more brave than before.
Time will tell. Now, I will just focus on making myself happy. ........ Not in the way you're thinking, obviously.
Onward to happier me!
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