2008? 2009?

2008 has been rather good to me.
It's the year that I came to realize that the 4 friends that I went to jail (sch la haha) with, are friends that are there for me no matter what happens.
It's the year that I'm now good friends with ppl I didn't think I would talk again.
It's the year I found new friends that I didn't think I would click initially.

It's the year I found you too.


Now, if there's a new year resolution I should make, it'd be to stay out of my shell.

Not emo

Today is just bleak.
I went from being the latest to arrive in class to the only failure, to nearly spraining my ankle just bcos I wasn't focusing whr I was walking.
I found myself looking at my watch then my phone and my watch then my phone more than 10 times.
Now, the only thing that I'm looking forward to tonight is.. The chinese show.


I knw I told you not to but I just wish you could have given me some answers.
Bcos this thing you're doing... It's never going to end.
Unless..

All I'm asking now is for you to..

Think properly.

I had a weird dream abt rats

And.. I got bitten really really hard by one

Yay D is back and I've been meeting her 2 days in a row. Today will be the 3rd.
Did I mention that I did not stay over at my own slumber party that I hosted with Eme in the end.. Yeah they called me sucker.
Visited Ann's jail last night with D and we had highly alcoholic eggnog.
Played wii and then D's eye started getting infected.
(Note to Ann: start cleaning up yr rooooom)

Sch's starting soon and I'm really behind in my painting which I intend to finish tmr.
I'm going to be Mariah at my brother's place first.
Dont laugh, my 4hours pay is most probably the same as yr 8 hours.

-
Why do I have the feeling that smth like that happened while you were with me.
Y'knw, it'd be easier if you said you were just playing.

Merry Xmas- I thought today was Friday

For the past few Christmas, I'd get up the earliest in my family and wake everyone up to open up the presents.
This year... We opened it at 12midnight. My whole family plus my brother's gf.
It was fun, and the Christmas spirit finally arrived.

Dinner started at like 10plus, and we ate till 1120 then I played Wii with my brother-in-law.
I am so happy my itouch isn't naked anymoreeeeeeee


OH D CAME BACK ALR!!!!!
SHE CALLED ME WHEN SHE CAME BACK.
She was in the same flight as my brother-in-law. OK I am going to just call him bil. So tiring to type out his whole entire.. I dont knw.

Later... I'd be going to Bukit Timah Hill with Eme and maybe watch Twilight and have our slumber party.
You see, I may have been upset but I've got my family and friends that make up for it.
In fact, they make up for more.

And yes, Steph, I'd try to listen to your advice.
I hope you're not dead bcos you're not replying me online.

So anyway, I hope all of you will enjoy this day.
Merry Xmas!

So sorry but this is like the 3rd post for today.
It's been raining since morning and I'm so bored waiting for time to pass.
I was feeling abit ------- (I dont knw how to describe) till I read ry's blog.
Fucking funny haha ok maybe it's just me.
AND RY, OMG I HAD INDIGESTION FROM EATING THE FOOD LAST NIGHT.
zzzzz

I was so irritated with my brother picking on presents... Then later he said, I am very lucky this year.
Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ok, happy christmas eve! I think I'm going to flood my blog.

On a Christmas eve,

Steph ♥ says:
OK GO CHANGE YOUR FONT TO GREEN!!!
hurry!
Birdney Spears says:
OK
Steph ♥ says:
done?
Birdney Spears says:
is yrs red
HAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA

Thats us trying to feel all christmas-y
I'm sorry but even though I've got quite alot of activities that I'm looking forward to, I still can't feel the christmas spirit.
It must be the rain.
So rain pls go away, so I can go for a run to clear my mind.

1 more thing to look forward to in the next 48 hours..

Cos,
In less than 24 hours..
D IS COMING BACK!!!!!!

This time last year, I was most probably working.
I wonder what will happen next year cos I am certain I didn't expect anything like that last year.
Anw...
I've got Bleakmas l8r (which I'm so dead for bcos I am hell sure I'd be recognized almost immediately), my own family one's tmr and slumber party the day after.
3 parties in a row..
Christmas still Is my most favorite time of the year.

Eme, are we still going to watch twilight/yes man and trek bukit timah hill!!!!!!
Better say yes.
If not.... Haha

Decode

Then again, if you meant everything you said.. I wonder how you're feeling.
Empty?
I'm starting to believe now that I've been living a lie.

One week ago, you were here with me.
Today, we're as good as strangers.

I understand how it feels to have what was held so dear to the heart taken away just like that.
I fight for what I want but I'm not the type that will ask you back if you're alr someone else's.

So what if you said I made this different.
The thought of what might have happened when I received a msg at 6 was enough to kill me.
I'm sure you meant everything you said to me but, that was then. Right?
Ppl change, feelings change.
Have no doubt, you're still different to me in every way you could be.
You're sorry.
And I'm sorry too.

I might cry but, how will you knw?
Now that you two can finally be together, just stay.
At least, for her sake, be decisive and don't sway.

All too familiar...

You see I can't say I knew or expected this to happen bcos I really really didn't see this coming.
It was only for that moment that I foresaw what might happen and felt that way.


Life isn't bleak.
I just make it to be. So I will not.
My laptop is doing fine now!
I am so happy.

Thank you to all that bothered to come for my party..
I'm so sorry for being sucha bad host.
And, happy bday Candice!
:)

I am very very very sad right now.
Cos it takes $800+++ to fix my laptop.
Anybody willing to donate money to me?

Wtf?

I threw my phone on my bed, it bounced off my laptop to my wall and landed somewhr.
Ok I don't really care abt the phone bcos it's just a house phone....
But now... My laptop screen cracked. No not cracked.
It just has this weird image.
Omg... It was returned to me not That long ago from repair.
Now I'm going to have to send back for repair. Again.

OMG WHY SO DUMB!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hi all,

She won't be around bcos she's going away for a holiday in Europe.
Skype? Thats if she brings her laptop and even then, doubt she'd be skyping on a Christmas day in Europe.
I would gladly fly over if I have money to buy the return air ticket.

I should prolly go learn acrobatics, or whatever is that called, from those China ppl that has turned Orchard road into a freak pasar malam.
Bcos then, I might have a higher possibility to fit into her pocket. Ok la don't be so ambitious.. Luggage?

What a cold... Hari Raya Haji? Ok scratch that. What a cold monday.

I ate 2wedges of papaya ytd which probably led to the visit to the toilet (not to pee la dammit) 4times today.
I ate so much raisins in the morning, I had an indigestion.
I feel an impending stomach ache now.

> : (

I want..

Boxers
Berms
Shoes (slip ons.. sneakers..)
Slippers
Shirts, T-shirts..
Skin for itouchhhh


It feels like most don't really have a whole long wishlist bcos they alr have what they want, or can get it themselves or smth.
I can't think of anything else bcos.. I have almost everything well except one last thing.

If anybody can think of a way (and it actually works) that I can spend at least one second (cos I don't ask for that much) of christmas day with my girlfriend, I will gladly give up everything I asked above and will give you anything that you want and I can afford.
Really.

Irony

I had dinner earlier with my family plus my brother's girlfriend.
The whole dinner felt like an irony.
And I don't knw if I was being sarcastic without the intention of being that way...
Dinner was good nonetheless.
I never laughed so much at a dinner table with my family, it was an unintended joke.
I'm getting really good at self-entertaining.

Christmas... is coming. And I don't knw how it's going to be.
I wonder if the difference starts from me cos it feels different somehow.
I can't quite put my finger at whether it's good or bad.

Ok, I still have tests coming up.
I NEED TO STUDY.
C'mon, motivate me abit.

ANW to those that asked me abt my wishlist.. Hang on for abit. I'd post it up.. Tmr.

Thats my girl

Things are mostly still the same... Except that now whenever someone asks me, 'Are you guys together now?' I don't have to go one big round trying to explain the status then. I can just answer straight to the point now.
And, I can't ask for more.


( :

Time to change bedsheet!

Tmr... I'd swim during my break and then in the evening, I'd go for a run.
I need to get back in shape.

I'm alone at home on a Sunday evening.
Feel so slpy.. We should all turn in to bed early tonight.

Not only has the week passed so fast.. the year 2008 too.
Christmas is coming.
Strange but, I can't feel the spirit of it yet.

Ok whatever. Time to change bedsheet!

Hihi!

Hihi!

If there's only person that can have friday blues, it'd be me.
I was so slpy in the morning, the blues were written all over my face.

I can't rmb what I've been doing for the past week..
I rmb having a conversation with my mother about a sister that I almost forgot she existed..... It's been so long since I saw her or talked at all.
My goggle marks are back.
Holidays are coming in 2 weeks or so..
My parents are going Genting again next week..
Zzzz.
I happily talked just now and the squares got burnt.

Haiya aiya yayayayayayaya.
I feel like lying on my bed all day.


hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi

Sweeeeet

I'm sorry but.. I can't help it when everytime her name is brought up, I'd feel :S.
Whatever it is, now I knw what happened. And I appreciate the honesty and really, thank you bcos you've taken a load off my mind.

I'm sorry you had to deal with my insecurities.
It'd fade away.
Everything's going to be better than okay.


I wanted to say.. When I see you. But apparently, I just texted you.
So yeh.


Goodnight ppl, I'm going to smile to slp.
Hahahahaha

I'm sorry but I can't help laughing at it.
Heaven in topshop ah, HOR WITH WHO!
Hahhahahahahahaha.
Ok you won't knw what I'm talking abt unless......

Shh.

I can't wait for tmr!

I...

Am slowly getting my voice back (or at least I choose to think so)
Miss my lappie.
Miss Ry and intend to slack at Frolick later
Feel like communicating with hand signs today
Feel like slping again...................................


:S

Whatever you like

Tmr, die also must go to sch.
Need to do a few things and.. pass my classmate his book.

I ate 7meatballs today and had difficulties differentiating pork and beef.
Bcos......... even though I only dont like pork.. I seldom eat beef.
So both are like foreign to me. Haha!

I knw You're reading this, so..
Hi ____ (you can fillintheblanks)
I dont knw how exactly you want to be called here.
I'm sorry I'm a magnet for family members but I had fun ^^


I'm speechless. Like, literally. Like, cannot talk.
And like, my mother wont stop talking to me now....
Ok like, Now I'm coughing.
Haha like, am I annoying anybody yet.

D? I don't knw if you're reading this but uh, pls don't think so much.
Bcos.. It's not yr fault that its this way.
I'm not saying that there's no punishment. ..
Just love her the way you do right now and hopefully, things will be better than fine.

happy achy tired happy sorethroat-y and, happy

November has been pretty good for me.
How abt you? (:







Hold on tight, I'll hold on too

Sch sch sch

In sch now.. With a weird feel in my stomach.
Im looking at a classmate that wears a beanie with singlet.

It's only 45mins into sch.....
4 more hours more till sch ends!


O's are ending! Excited? ^^

I'd be your secret if you'd be mine

"you two are like finishing each other's sentences"
"and there is always comfort in familiarity"


I thought nobody will read this but obviously, I'm wrong.
HAHA ok not that it really matters..
I should... go away.

What's Christmas without..

First, Domo said she isn't going to be in town for my most favorite time of the year.
Then my dad said that I can't have a party.
Now.....

:(

I'm just someone there to help you fill in the blanks

Hi Steph! I didn't skip sch. I think yr part time hobby is to read up ppl's sex life and go all EEEEW and then continue reading. Haha!
Hi Charis, what nov bring you!?!?
Hi Gayhubby!

-


I said I'd black out when I go to bed ytd right?
Apparently, I took abt an hour to do just that.
And even then, I got up at 0505 to stare at the wall before falling back aslp 10mins later till it was time for sch.
:(

Sch was ok today even though I had my usual monday blues.
I thought mine was quite bad till I met my friend (Yes you M haha)
BUT its ok, everything went away when we (or rather I) started playing neopets during lect.
Just a tiny note to you, Steph. SINCE you'd be VERY free after O's, maybe you can put "play neopets" in yr to-do list............. HAHA

From Ry's lj:

Bird and I were too bored at my place.. and this guy who added me on skype talked to me again -_- so she... took over the keyboard and I played along too LOOK AT THE CONVO IT IS FUCKING FUNNY AND CLICK THE FUCKING LINK

ks_tan
11:53 AM
hihi

Bleakie
11/2/08 4:27 PM
hihihihihihihihi

ks_tan
4:27 PM
might to intro?
me 23 from penang
male\
u?

Bleakie
4:34 PM
me 55 from inda

ks_tani
4:34 PM
male ? female?

Bleakie
4:34 PM
i am gul

ks_tan
4:34 PM
ooo

Bleakie
4:34 PM
wad you daing now

ks_tan
4:34 PM
now where r u?

Bleakie
4:35 PM
on my bad

ks_tan
4:35 PM
rubbing my cock

Bleakie
4:35 PM
me too
(HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA WTF)

ks_tan
4:35 PM
u got cock?

Bleakie
4:35 PM
bigger dan my mather ane
HAHAHAHAHA WTF WTFTWF

ks_tan
4:35 PM
u got pic?

Bleakie
4:35 PM
hav

ks_tan
4:36 PM
so hard
(-_-)
send me can?

Bleakie
4:36 PM
so hot
my umpit
(LMAO)

ks_tan
4:36 PM
send me ur pic to see see

Bleakie
4:37 PM
cun

ks_tan
4:37 PM
let me see la

Bleakie
4:37 PM
i it my carry paff first

ks_tan
4:38 PM
wat?

Bleakie
4:38 PM
i it mie carry paf fist
(LMAFOAOX)
i shuw u
my photu
from 10 ears ago

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/38/Indian_Woman_with_bindi.jpg

(MUST CLICK THIS FUCKING LINK AH)

india nut mach camra


HAHAHAHAHA AND HE STOPPED TALKING FINALLY OMG HAHAHAHAH LAGGIE BEST

Happy bday steph!
I finally met you after............ Months.
Great meeting you earlier even though it was really really impromptu.
Hope you enjoy yr bday!
Ok if you're even reading this, All the best for yr SS!



Had lotsa fun today but I will blog abt it tmr.
I am very very tired.
I swear I'd black out later.
Have been having 6hours or less slp everyday for the past week.
Sch's at 9 l8r.
Good luck to me!

Sept/Oct

I wonder if any of you came into contact with yr ex during those two months.
I bumped into mine quite a few times. More than the times I bump into her in sch for the whole of last year.
She said we were too drained to date somebody after one another and I agreed.
It took me quite a while to get by the whole thing.
I'm still quite afraid of commitment even if it's wearing off at a time it really shouldn't be.

You knw how yr other half always expects smth from you?
I'm terrified of not being able to meet up to expectations.
I am afraid of that. I knw the feeling of disappointment so I don't want to be the reason why anybody else should be feeling that way.
We agreed to meet next year? Haha it was such a random decision from her 2years ago.
And I honestly don't knw what we'd do when we meet.
I don't knw if it's me or that she can't really look at me in the eye or that she just don't look at the person beside the person she's talking to.
Or maybe she just prefers to look at one person and only talk to one and, only wave bye to one.
So if we're already like that before we even meet up alone..
I think I should bring my laptop. Apparently I think we talk better online.

Then again, maybe I'm just sensitive. And maybe she looked at me when I looked away.
^^


Hello Nov.
Pls bring smth better for me, thank you.

A leopard never changes its spots

It's just a different person each time but it's the same cycle.

Can't believe I can get hooked on HSM songs.....
Haha ok whatever.
Happy halloween everyone!

This is going to make me look stupid but anw, it was really stupid.
I thought lab sessions had smth to do with chopping/ dissecting..
In the end, it was actually COMPUTER LAB.
Ohgod.
Too much GG.

I've got sch.
Dread sch.
Lab sessions. What's lab sessions?
Will I get to dissect anything........

Hahaha I still cant believe I'm learning psychology when I'm in Culinary.
Maybe I need to understand the feelings of food...

Hooked onto neopets.
This is crazy.
Oh my star has been good.

This kind of thing die also must blog


leflash says:
i like fantasiesss

Have been playing neopets for the past 2 nights
6000+ np alr and my acc got frozen bcos I stupidly logged into my acc using 2 different internet browsers.
Like one was logged in using google chrome and the other was logged in using internet explorer.
6000+ np gone like that......................
Now I need to wait for hours again to play Wheel of Excitement.


I feel like I might fall sick.
I had blocked nose last night and I'm sneezing nonstop now


It's a Sunday afternoon.
I've been seeing V for the past 3days.
Told you that there was smth good from all of that bcos now I am hanging out with all of you guys more often than ever.

aihtync:] : HI haha I am not in french class! I crashed yr lecture and yes I knw I took up yr space. Sorry!
mycalendargirl: HAHAHA I can try? But I might be very wrong in my pronunciation and all that.
matt/eme: Yeah I get what you mean... haha! See you soon k! maybe this sat :D

-

I came back not that long ago and lied down on my bed.
My mom joined me. I told her abt what I did today..
She was quite upset that I took some form of alcohol even though it was just red wine.
She went on abt brain damage and all that.
Been thru this kind of situation one too many time, I remained calm or rather I had no other choice bcos I was rather tired.
We remained silent for a while before she said smth abt my pastor mentioning abt how we should honour our parents.....
Hahaha I asked her to stop beating round the bush and just go straight to the point..

We talked and I guess I somehow knw what she's thinking now?
I told her abt my dad. She knws that he is always wanting to talk to us and it Always happen at the wrong time. I mentioned abt.. how he always talked abt how he's not going to be here forever and I hafta be sensible.
He told me all that when I was barely 12. I rmb how I'd always hold back my tears when he talked abt how he's not going to be there.. I ended up praying every night then that my parents will live forever with good health.
I don't knw if it's just an excuse but I feel that that's the reason why I don't want to talk to my dad now whenever he calls me.
Don't knw how that conversation ended up with me rolling on to her and snuggling up to her while she kinda held me.
It was funny bcos I looked at her wondering how come she was flat chested.
Then I asked if she was wearing bra. HAHA SHE SHY AND TURN AROUND DONT WANNA FACE ME ALR OK. CANT BELIEVE MY MOTHER DID THAT, I JUST KEPT LAUGHING.

...
I just read what I typed a few sentences above, it's as if I'm talking abt a lover. HAHA it's just my mom ok. I'm not into incest.. Even though we were all talking abt it earlier.
Imagine if I kissed my brother. Omg EEW?

Time passed really fast today..
I was supposed to go to sch but I skipped it and headed out for a movie.
It was a morbid show with a crude sense of humour.
Headed down to quarubar after dinner.
It was good? With the liveband and all that. But I honestly can't hear what C was saying, and I had to make up half of what she said.

Had fun and now I'm really really sleepy.

Have a conclusion that 11:11 wishes absolutely dont come true at all.
Even if it did, it'd just be taken away from you after that.

(Note: just a conclusion)

I am so proud of myself having being able to drag myself out of bed and to sch despite only having... <6 hours of slp.
I think I'm having insomnia.
I tried to slp at... 1230 and finally got to slp at only 130.
And I feel like I'm having anxiety attacks (ok la not that serious), I keep waking up.
I thought I heard my phone make a beep sound..
I got up earlier than the time I was supposed to.
Oh but my star stayed up with me longer last night, it did not even collapse even when it was morning

Psych and French today.
Im going to take colour and composition as an additional subject?

Im currently at Esplanade library, waiting for my sister to come meet me.
My stomach is growling like fuck and I'm quite sure she'd only be here at 8.

:(

They say..... Food is the way to a man's heart
How abt songs?

Feels like I understand now.

Ok, pls pls plzz pray that I will drag myself out of bed ltr and.
Go to sch.

To those that hate the rain, it's my fault.
Heaven is crying for me bcos I'm so sad that sch has started.
I'm sorry.

As if I really needed to know that this is all about jinxing it, my friend brought that up earlier.
And then they talked abt karma.....
Hahaha, thanks.

My parents are going Genting again tonight. For once, I want to go.
I'm going to walk away now.

We were talking abt karma a few days back.
The more I think, the more I start to agree that this is all just karma.
And the more I think, the more I start to see that.. I probably jinxed it.
And this is so sad, bcos when you're happy you can't say it out otherwise you might just jinx it.
It's like... Bad to feel happy.
Bad bad bad.
I should just feel sad now.
Then maybe I'd jinx it and feel happy.
Make sense? HAHA!


Haiya I'd quit thinking so much and just run till my legs break. It's halfway there.
Schhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(

I didn't knw kindergarten teaches you that.. if you're a girl, you wear dress. If you're a boy, you wear shorts.
My kindergarten teacher didn't teach me that and that's probably why I'm not as girly as I should be. Yes no? Haha
I can still rmb my mother being very angry and pulled me out of kindegarten bcos my teacher threw my book on the floor when all I did was, colouring the pictures.

Sch's really starting >:(
I'm going off to bed now.
And yeah, okay, I'd do what you say then.

Thinking it was the sound for the race to start, I charged.
I felt the adrenaline, thinking I was about to win since there were nobody else ahead, but no, I just had a false start.
And now I need to go back and start over.
I can't win, bcos the other is here longer hence more experience and knws how to go abt it.
And yet, I feel as though... If I don't move and stay put till the right time, I might just win after all.
Then again, I never get anything right.


My biological clock is still screwed.
Sch is starting on Monday and I'm so tempted to just skip sch alr :(

Met up with V, C and Vic at Cityhall.
I laughed till my legs turned jelly and squatted near the roadside just to laugh.
My chrysanthenum flower from V died tragically with no dignity left.
All the petals flew in all direction bcos we were busy smacking each other with it.
Even the stalk broke into 2.
Headed down to Frolick after dinner to sit there and type.
Eme came, played and I cycled the bicycle home.
I thought of all ways I could die while cycling.
And I think if I didn't watch out for this retarded taxi driver, he would have freaking bang into me.
Fucker, That particular way of dying wasn't in my list of possibilities.
Speaking of taxis, I lost my ezlink card in one of them ytd.
Bleeeeeeeeeeee-ak.


I shouldn't have let my sister sleep in the same room as me.
Her snore can kill. Maybe I should kick her and let her roll off the bed...
Then again it won't work. If anybody were to roll off, it'd be me since I'm not slping next to the wall.
And if anybody were to be injured tonight, it'd be me once again bcos I'm slping on the bed that is halfway to doom.

My star had a longer life last night. It stayed till I got up and left my room.
Hopefully it never drops ^^




Bcos the only thing I thought I got it right, it went wrong.

I was afraid that if I hadn't left so quickly.. You would have saw right thru me.

-

Hihi, I woke up today thinking that my feet was shining.
Hahaha no it was actually just the star that dropped from the ceiling and near my feet.
So anw, I was so excited abt it last night, I was showing it to everyone that talked to me.
I managed to stick it back up just now, I hope it won't drop again bcos I spent the last half an hour jumping up and down on my bed trying to stick it onto the ceiling.
You knw how tiring it is? I knw I run alot but jumping up and down at this hour when you should be slping is not that easy.

Fucking internet taking so long to load, I'd just go off to bed alr.
Goodnight world.

I've got.. so much things to say but I won't.

-
Oh, sch's starting next week.
Got my timetable.. It doesn't suck that much.
Quite happy with it. I already decided what days I intend to skip.
Ok wait, I shouldn't.

I can't describe how today started.
I woke up at 630 and then 830 then 1030.
Headed out to run and bumped into an Indian policeman..
It was all weird, weird weird.
Anw my name is Beth and I study Mass Comm in Tp.


Ikea with C today.
I wasn't in the mood to go out actually but, I knew if I didn't take a breather outside... I would feel worse.
So! I went and tried my first meatball.
It was good hanging out with her. Don't knw what the hell we were doing except laughing over retarded things.. Whatever it is,
I bought a star :D


leflash says:
sometimes i feel you should just get hair extensions
leflash says:
and get a tutu

Well, you caught me the moment I was off guard.

"For the sake of your own heart, give her up?"


I probably jinxed it.

:S

and when you finally get what you've always wanted, suddenly it stops being important all together.
what if i'm like that with you too? and then one day you're going to say you love me and i'm going to walk away like it didn't matter.

-Author Unknown

So.... I did not slp for the whole of ytd night.
Rushed down to ECP and tried to catch the sunrise.
Everywhere around us brightened up but there weren't any yolk to be seen.
I resorted to draw one on the sand but.. it was hopeless.
I was helpless bcos it wasn't according to plan.
And, there were the china ppl posing for the camera.
Probably having a photoshoot for the next China's FHM.
Had Macs breakfast after a longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time.
Cycled down to Changi, and watched a few airplanes go by.
Cycled back and cabbed home.

Hmmm... honestly? I like days like that. Even though I only took a very very short nap before heading out again.

It's wrong of me to think I can keep you but... :S Haha
I am going off to bed now.
Let me adjust my biological clock back slowly..
Soon, I'd be back to normal.
Like how I used to be.
Like how We used to be.

Ok, so I heard.. that I'm with Weedy now.
Let me make this clear, we're absolutely Not together.
OK?
Ok good.


I'm deciding whr I should get my tattoo and what it should be.
I've got a few ideas.. but I'm still contemplating.

My parents are going Genting tmr.. again.
Don't knw whats so nice abt there but whatever.

Trimmed my hair today with Ann.
Made mooncake earlier and it sucked.
Reason behind it?
D said it was bcos life sucked.


Hmm...
Although this holidays was my most drama one, from that blog to this and that, I'm happy that it all happened. If it hadn't, I won't be talking and getting closer to friends I never thought I would when sch ended.
So despite all the drama shit, I guess I still have smth to thank for?

^^

I had the weirdest dream last night and I woke up thinking I really had that msg and checked my phone immediately.
So bleak, I feel like I'm getting confused of which is real and which is not

Got up, headed down to ECP.
Surprised C's mom.. had picnic.
Happy birthday Aunty Anne!

I've got work later..
And, I sincerely hope nobody vomits.
I'm abit tired today so if you step on the wrong foot, you're dead.


I've got so much qns in my head.. like..
WHY ARE THERE FREAKING ANTS IN MY ROOM.

But we all know that that's not going to happen.
Or am I wrong?

I should have just kept quiet, shouldn't I.

Tonight I'm feeling everything at once.
There's no song, no words that I can think of right now.
And this is killing me slowly.

I'm so tired but I don't wanna slp.
I want to go for a run.

Fell down twice while C fell down 4times.
Bladed all the way to Changi.
Ate wasabi during dinner and teared.
Hung out...

Just when I'm enjoying holidays, work is starting soon.




If my life can be put in a song right now,
it'd be between you and I.
And I'd be 'her'.
Read the lyrics and you'd know.

V blogged abt what happened.. So I don't really need to say anything else.
For most of the conversation, I was just listening.

I can't wait for the JC peeps' exams to be over.


One thing I've learnt though, it is not to read too much into anything.
Yeah Ann, I guess it's better than nothing.

I think, some stuff are better left unsaid.

Frolick with Eme and Ry.
This is the first time I swallowed so much sweets at one go.

Tonight left me totally............. speechless.
You'd knw if I was talking to you tonight.
We'd continue the whole whatever thing after.. the major exams are over, I think? I don't knw.

Life's so bleak (it's really growing on me)
Going to start work on Sun.
I'm so hungry.
Ry says I sound mushy on my blog post. Go and die, yrs 10000 times worse.

Met up with badminton ppl after a veryyyyyy long time.
This is the first time I've turned up for the whatever they organized.
We hung out till quite late. Nobody was home when I got back.

So... my sister thinks we forgotten her bday. And we did not want to celebrate for her.
Wish dont wish also get the same ending. Wtf seriously.
I told my mom, I partly hope that my brother in law will walk away from her so she'd wake up.
She's so mind draining. Our world can't revolve around you? And, you're not always right.

Kkkk I wash my hands off.
Haha.......



I think I should not like you.

crashlikelove : I will work afternoon shifts.. maybe during the following week or smth. I don't knw yet. I'd let you knw so you can come and bug me. I'd make sure I give you the macarons I accidentally poke a hole in HAHAHA ok I'm kidding. Just drop by la!

Gardens is becoming my second home. I went there ytd, today and I'm going again tmr.
I just realized this is the first time I hung out with Ann alone and for so long.
She studied and I read. I don't knw if she managed to study bcos she kept on talking to me halfway.

I think I bumped into quite a lot of ppl recently.
Whether it's at the pool.. gardens.. train station?
Last thing I should do in days to come is to jog on the streets.

Part of me hope Oct doesn't come.
|:
Am off to bed now, goodnight!

crashlikelove: Hahaha we've been friends for sooooo long. Do you not knw I'm a mean person :D HAHAHA Anw yeah la, glyn and I will be working next week. 6 till closing from.... mon- thurs!

mytoesaresexy: chugging along wth hahahaha. ok, i actually want to mail you smth. hmmz.

Although Ann called me all sorts of names today and I think I am becoming overbearing...
it was still a good day.

(:

When I asked for hard to get, I did not mean close to impossible.

Charis- SO DO I. PLUS TRUFFLES MOONCAKE

Mycalendargirl- yes? obviously I think!

crashlikelove- DONT GIVE YOU DISCOUNT hahaha

D- my cousin asked that qns. i think if my mom asks me if im gay... i might just tell the truth haha i miss you moreeee hhahahaha

Eh I don't knw if I want to make mooncake.

My mom thinks its muscles but I think its fats.
Today I had quite an awkward moment, "did any boy take interest in you in sch!"
You tell me how to respond la.

Gave church a miss, I slept at 6 and got up at 12.
To tire myself out, I went swimming so I can slp early tonight.
I ate so much mooncake, I can swear off mooncake for the rest of my life.
And if I'm going to eat them again, I'd... be eating the ones I make.
Decided to go back to bakerzin and work there.
Let's hope the whoever will rmb I'm her relative and hire me back with a higher pay.
Hahaha

Lately, I've been thinking a hell lot.
Like a hell lot.

Today was good.
I woke up, headed to my cousin's house. Came back had dinner, had mooncake for dessert. And set out to j8 to buy even MORE mooncakes.
Got Glyn to help me get bakerzin's one too.
This is the most my mom has ever spent on mooncakes! And we might be making our own ones soon.. Haha. The mooncake frenzy has gotten into our heads.

Headed out to C's place later.
We started burning lanterns. Lighting up sparklers and throwing them up to the trees.
Watching them burn.
It was retarded and yet, fun.
I thought the ppl will call the police since C had her classic screams.
Left at 2? The latest I've ever stayed out since quite long ago.

It's 4 now and I'm dozing off.
Glyn is convincing me to go back to bakerzin! And honestly... I am seriously considering the job.

It's the start of a new day, and I feel like crawling back to sleep.
I had a nightmare last night and woke up feeling flustered.
It was awful. Having yr heart beat so fast.
Even when I run, it's not that fast.

But I'm going to go find a job so.... okkkkkk. I'm off now.
Should I trim my hair? It's getting long but it's not annoying me much. Yet.

Today went on as planned, no sudden back out due to laziness or anything.
And we bladed for a 4 1/2 hours straight.
Never did I blade this long, the most I bladed was 3 hours and ended up with bad abrasions on my leg.
It was fun, we were talking about.... anything. Hahaha
Everytime we say smth along the line of falling, we always nearly slip.
It's a taboo. We must shut up. HAHA.
OK ANW, C, MEET UP TO ROLLERBLADE SOON AGAIN OK.
5 HOURS THIS TIME HAHA.

Okkkk I kinda went to check my GPA? It sucked. -_-

Today we were all suppose to meet up.
Due to laziness and I don't knw what, we all somehow did not meet each other.
Ok, I have a bad feeling abt tmr too..
Instead, I found myself at HGM. I'm becoming a HGM kid already. Yikes.
Borrowed books and met C Ho! To go look for a job at compass.
DON'T TELL YOU WHR.
You're wondering.. of all places I can look for a job for, why there right.
It's bcos I think it's kinda the closest to sch and home.
Hmmmmm and it's air conditioned. Hahaha

My room smells so.. minty right now.
Msn's being a bitch.
Don't knw why it just won't allow me to sign in.

Ann told me ytd that I have a fetish for netball girls.
WTF?! HAHA
Oh she forgot to say, long haired ones especially

Tmr my laptop is going to be at the mercy of my sister.
Not happy, not shiok at all. Didn't you know I'm possessive....
Hahaha whatever.

Did I really sound very very upset ytd? Hmmm.
Today I spent really long hours at the pool.
It was so freaking long. My whole afternoon was gone.
It was evening already when I finally stop to take the longest breath.

I don't knw if it's me.. but ppl around me are quite angsty.
It IS the ppl around me.
Alright, I got chocolate with whiskey mooncake!

This is for Tania

Ok, I said I did not want to blog bcos I might end up wallowing in self pity.
But I'd just blog for youuuuuu hahaha

We were in the same class for POA for two years. And I only started talking to you in the middle of the 2nd year. The number of times I talked to you during sec 3 could be counted by the time I ate pork. (HAHA)

I don't knw abt you, but I love yr company.
It's never boring with you around, I'm always laughing. And I always feel like I might get a sorethroat whenever I hang out with you.

It is almost a year since we talked now.. and I'm glad we're still keeping in contact even after sec sch. Making an effort to hang out every second sat of the month.
I've mentioned it before that there are so many ppl in my life that I'd never ever want to lose.
And I'm glad to tell you that You're one of them.
Thanks for being there, always.

So cheesy but I love you.

(Now dont knock on my window in the morning and I'd love you more hahaha)

Hey, at least I tried right?
It's not like I was expecting anything.
Ok my bad, I was silently hoping for a different reply.
There was this faint glimmer of hope.
It feels like a lot of things happened today but no, only one thing happened. One significant thing happened and it happened fast.
My days are getting shorter and my nights are getting longer.

It's my sister's birthday today. I get the feeling that she might have been looking forward to see us at her place today... But we all did not turn up.
We decided to change the surprise till when she returns from Japan.
By far, she's one of the most sensitive person I've came across so.. I am not sure if she might be feeling upset.
I just hope nothing goes wrong.

Yay I got a new pair of shoes and swimming costume.
I don't knw what else to say, I'm afraid I might wallow in self pity.
I'm going off to bed earlier today and swim my brains away and find a freaking job tmr.

Ask me, and I'd tell you I'm scared.

This morning was the best, I slept at 7 and got up at 1 plus.
I wanted to go for a run but I need to leave for church already.
I'm lazy.. but I'm not particularly tired.
I don't feel like going to church :(

I need to start looking for a job, to get pass my time.
This week is going to be better..
I'm hanging out with my poly mates on wed.. Then C on thurs!

Changes for me are never too drastic.. I mean, I went from the earliest to sleep in the house to the latest.
From the earliest to get up to the latest to get up.
From the earliest to eat breakfast, now there's no breakfast..

I was hired 2days ago, now I'm fired. Haha ok not fired, I didn't get the job.
I was preparing to go to HK, now I'm going to be stuck in Sgp.
If only... my father printed money.
If only... it's actually okay to travel alone and not feel alone.
I think I cannot be alone and if I am, I cannot stand walking around without music.
I'm insecured.
Is that what you call me?

It's 210 now.
Do you think I'm queer if I said I want to get up at 5 later. As in 5pm.
It's like how I tell myself I want to continue running even if my legs hurt.
Told you changes for me are never too drastic.

Yesterday saw me... nuah-ing the whole entire day away.
My sister was talking to me and within 30secs, I stared into blank space.
Later, we were sitting infront of the tv watching Fantastic 4, hiding under the comforter.
It was the ultimate nuah day. I had a surprise visit and got brownies. :D
Then later my sis and I went down to gardens, I looked like I was going for a jog in slip ons. Hahahaha but whatever

My folks came back at abt... 10-11 plus with durians from GENTING.
And I had to open it. My mother said the way I opened it looked scary but hers was no better. The newspaper rotated 360degrees when she was prying it open.
There was a heart shaped durian and I was saying that was my heart. The next moment, there was a freaking rotten durian inside it.

Fuck. My heart is rotten. Hahaha now, they're going to continue the durian opening partII.
Ok my sister wanted to appear in the blog.
So yeah she said hello.
She's so lame.

My sister's friends are coming over. Totally taking the opportunity to mess up the house with the rest of the family not home.

I got so much free time on my hands, I want to go HK.
I want to get out of Sgp. I don't mind if I go to Genting actually........
But I'd want to go alone.
I think I want to go hiking.
Haha I wonder how's life without any connections from the world.

I borrowed alot of shows to get by my time! Watch it's a boy girl thing.
Makes you go all awwww haha and it's hilarious!

First step I'm taking, erasing the exclamation mark from the name.
Next, I'd erase everything.
One step at a time..

I don't care if my hamstring feels like its going to break down.
All I want to do now.. is to go for a run.

I was suppose to be baking the crumble two hours ago but due to certain circumstances, I was unable to bake it on time and now.. I'm waiting for it to be done.
I dreamt I got bitten by a dog again. It looks like the same dog.
I told my mom and she said maybe there was someone talking abt me behind my back. It took me a while to figure it out and then.. it hit me.
What sia, who the hell is bitching abt me.
So we came to the conclusion that someone in my family is bitching abt me bcos of what happened inside the dream.
And she laughed. I asked if she bitched abt me. She laugh even more and asked me back, you think I will talk abt you?
Then.. I said, yeah of cos but then again you will talk it in my face hor.

I just went to find my phone AND I HAD THE BIGGEST SHOCK OF MY LIFE WHEN I WAS CALLING IT I HEARD THE VIBRATION NEAR THE OVEN.
MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT BCOS I THOUGHT I WAS BAKING MY PHONE AND THEN I STARTED TO IMAGINE I SMELLED A METALLIC AROMA.
...
BUT THANK GOD.
HAHA. My mother is some..... I can't call her dumb shit bcos I'm her daughter which makes me dumb shit's daugheter = dumber shit. But wtf, she kept things without opening her eyes, she kept my phone inside her i-dont-knw-what-issit-used-for-in-the-kitchen-kit and kept it inside the cardboard which was directly above the freaking oven.
And I was this close to thinking, I'm a genius. I leave my phone inside the oven and bake it.

Mothers. Geez.
Anw, I've got holidays till Oct... smth.
I'm so free but I don't want to go to Genting. My parents are going genting tmr. K la go, dont come back anymore. Just give me whatever money you have left and pls tow back the car thanks :D

I'm glad I'm out of a sch that have teachers read blogs very occasionally.
I can freely (not really) talk abt anything I want. Although I am not the type to curse and swear or defame someone.. It still feels weird to have teachers reading abt yr daily activities and lets say you like someone, they are going to guess who.
But since I'm out of sec sch already, I can almost talk abt anything I want.

I hear thunder and I'm this close to not going for the race. I'm staring at the shirt, contemplating. If it rains.. they'd have to postpone the race. And I'd be wasting my time over there. It's so dark outside.
Church or race?



Play?.. Nobody in their right mind wants to play a losing game.

I'm scared if I do smth, it'd be too much. And I'd scare you away. But I'm also scared, if I don't do anything, I'd be losing you without even trying.
All I need.. is like a simple.. sign. But then again.. ahhh.

Steph, I kinda give you the right to slap me.
Oh, v.. domo whoever my good friends are.

I woke up feeling quite.. angsty.. confused? I don't knw how I was feeling.
I went for a run.
Later I decided to draw on the walls of my room and paint it.
So now.. I kinda got an eiffel tower over there. Hahaha.
V came over and I reckon the nicest building is drawn by her.
My sister said she would help, she disappeared after saying she wanted to grab mooncake.
Its 1210 now, my mother is baking bread!
My parents with my brother and his gf are leaving for Genting next week.
I'd have the whole house to myself bcos my sister will be at my brother's place working.

K I took like an hour to type this blog post and it's not even long.
I sincerely hope that homo won't put my pictures while we were webcaming earlier on.
!!! Tsk


But yr heart's with someone else.

It was going to be quite a happy night.

I'm over at my cousin's place. I want to go swimming but.. gahhh, my best friend is here. Hahaha it's a sign.
TODAY MARKS THE END OF MY EXAMS!!!!!
Like it is a very big deal, it was only 4 papers.
After chionging my guts out for O's, I feel so lazy to do anything else.
1 paper also feel like dying already.

I was watching a show and the whole... story seemed strangely familiar to me.
But oh well, the week's been pretty great for me.
Oh, you knw why :D
Hahahaha

I wanted to slp at 11 last night, I ended up tossing on my bed for the next 1 and a half hour. The blocked nose was robbing me away my slp and I could have so take a book to read and just forgoed sleep? There was a test the next day unfortunately.

It was okay, not incredibly hard but not incredibly easy. The MCQ was a breeze though.
Thurs the last paper!
I'm not studying, I certainly haven't been studying for the past few hours since I reached home.
I got the pictures of the family portrait.
I looked like @$#*&$. Seriously my eyes were.. half closed or looking at the ceiling
geez. And in pictures that actually dont have so much of me looking up.. someone else in my family will look ????? Haha the skinniest was complaining abt her face being fat.
How ironic ain't it. Thank God I wasn't home to listen to the whines. I would have killed myself and put my pictures to good use. For funeral la dey.


There's so many things..... and,
Tmr would be a good day.
:)

Definitely maybe

Today is such a gloooomy day :(

All of a sudden, I cannot wait for next year.
It will be such an eventful year. I'd be turning 18, my sister will be turning 21.
We'd be celebrating our bdays on Apr 1, I think? That's what we discussed.
Celebrating our major bdays together..
And one more thing, I'D BE ABLE TO LEARN DRIVING. I CANNOT WAIT REALLY CANNOT WAIT.
No more will I bug the drivers in my house to fetch me somewhr and no more will I be complaining to my father abt my brother hogging the car, I can be the biggest bitch and hog the car now.
Hahahahhaa of cos I can't be, if there's my sister who's learning it now...

I'm supposed to be studying.. but what am I doing?
I'm waiting for the person to get back to me. I'm hoping for an Ipod touch.
Hahaha this is so... touch and go kind of thing.
I didn't even plan for it, I saw it, I got so tempted and I went to bid for it.
This is called impulsive buyer, not good at all.
Maybe it's the stress from all the exams.

I said my mom just returned from Genting a few days ago right.
Infact, 2 days ago.
GUESS WHAT? SHE IS GOING TMR. AGAIN.
but with my dad this time.
Simi lai eh, what's so nice abt genting.
I told you already, they got kids there and plan to abandon me here with my brother.

I want to paint my room, I want to get a job.
I don't wanna sit at home and waste time away. $5 an hr is better than $0 right?
hahaha anw, if you're a good drawer ( V!) and if you're free... maybe you can help me along with the painting of my room? :D
I am planning to change how my room looks like.
I don't really care if it's going to be rented out.
I just wanna do smth.

Pro is when you can watch tv and type at the same time.
I always have distractions at the wrong time.
I'm suddenly into watching tv, and my exams is just the week after.
Not funny, I got so many distractions.
I attempted to study earlier on, I ended up on my bed slping for the next hour.

My mom and my sis is coming back from Genting tonight!
They gambled (I think) their money away or spent on thousand eyelashes (my sister is a fan of them since she doesnt have any haha). They ran out of money and guess what! My mother didnt bring her credit card. Too bad lor, no $$$. Left with my sis atm card, her acc only got SGD73. Tell me how to survive, she confirm buy 10 thousand more boxes of eyelashes lor.
Gotta call their saviour a.k.a me, to transfer money into my sister's bank acc with the miserable amount of money.

I'm so corny its not even funny,
if I'm a vegetable, confirm plus chop is corn already.

I took a family portrait the other day. Come over to my place soon and you'd see that my smile is not like this :}, it's.. :D WITH TEETH.
WITH TEETH I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW I LOOK LIKE.
Bcos Ive never really liked smiling with teeth...
And I knw how many ppl always ask, "why everytime ---- dont smile with teeth, nice meh"
I don't knw abt the rest, but I have my reasons. Hahaha yeah everyone has their reasons..
I'm leaving for church! It's been abt.. 2 weeks since I've not gone to church.
Talk about slack.

Went to grapevine ytd. Domo didn't come and caveman came!
If V wasn't my gooooooooood friend since pri sch, I would have ham tam her and feed to the dogs.
But she's so cute, I can't bear to kill her. So I kicked her. HAHAHA.
And caveman always have a different story everytime she comes, I don't want to believe what she say already lor.
"I'm serious! We didn't ------------ laaaaa"

My mom is going to bake pineapple tarts on a national day.

Exams are coming in two weeks! Geez.
Oh go watch definitely maybe! haha surprisingly, its not bad. :D
Grrrr. I should get back to studying.

I'm actually.. waiting?

I'm not asking for it.


I got alot of pictures to show the world.
But my hair is so short, I don't wanna show yet. Unless I can think of ways to photoshop more hair. HAHAHA
Ok la, my hair isnt that bad. I'm so whiney, I can't stand myself.
I'm quite tired so I will go off.
I told Meryl I'd help upload, I've uploaded. But it's in my other computer and when she's online, I'm using my lappy. Grr.

I might go to Vietnam next week with ppl I don't knw.
It's so scary and time consuming. I don't really want to be spending my hols in Vietnam studying :(

Notes to self:
-get down to studying
-upload dammit pictures!!
-go to SLP NOW

I attempted to cut my hair today but I think there's no difference.
I need to go for a haircut soon, my hair belly mushhhloom lehzxzxzz.

It's my grandma's bday today and I was suppose to go for the celebration.
I'm stuck at home, trying to finish my project.
Sometimes I think, friends should never be in the same group.

Ahwell.
I have the sudden urge to listen to John Mayer and back off. Whoohoo

This is so true.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

One two three (maybe a thousand) steps late, sigh.
Haha.
Sigh what sigh right.

I swear the heat in Sgp is killing me.
I've been building up heat inside me. No.. I'm not angry, its just REALLY VERY HOT.
I'm not perspiring and yet I still feel so so hot.
Like a kind of warmth inside me.
I feel happy and yet not happy.
I feel like I need to go out and have a small little jog. Lol.

I don't knw what to blog!
My tattoo is scabbing now and I'm itching to scratch it.
Ok actually I scratched it and the ink cant go away.. Yeah obviously since its a tattoo.
I'm typing rubbish, I don't knw what to say.
I got a test tmr, I die die MUST pass and ontop of that, get good grades.
I really really wanna get good grades :(
What am I ranting about.
Ummmmz...

V stayed over last last night and D left last night.
She'd be back soon soon soon. Hopefully for christmas :)



I have this... feeling that if I accidentally scratch my tattoo, it'd be gone. Like how you scratch the scab away. It's all so so surreal, I'm abit shocked by what I did. It feels like a tongue piercing moment, like I wanna get it, I get it now.
Thing is, I knw I won't regret.( I LOVE MY NAME HAHAHA) I never regretted my tongue piercing anyway, there are other reasons why I took it out.
I have yet to tell my dad, my brother and my sister.
I'm not sure abt my dad, but I think my brother and sister will be.... like omggggggggggg ^($^*#($*#Q(. Eldest brother was pretty cool about it. That's the whole cool thing about having a brother that's pretty gay. In a happy kind of way and a gay gay kind of way. HAHA. Of cos cherry is fine with it, so long I'm ok and I love it, she will be fine with it :D

My parents are at Genting again..
I reckon my mom is going to come back with all the big bag small bag of beans/nuts/raisins whatever whichever. She knws I like it so she'd buy x1000, funny how my mother don't really buy snacks for my sister, I think my mother secretly wants me to grow fat.
Like pau, she knws I like it, she'd make alot alot. Eck.
I think I'm getting abit sick of all that.

Do you always behave like that to everybody?

Today is my super nua + virgin tattoo day!
Legs are aching from sprinting by myself a few days back and I read somewhr that when it's sore and you still continue, muscles will build. And if you've seen me recently, wo bian da le. :( Oh, the woes of a girl. HAHA (sounds weird when I say it)
Anw, I'm just going to rest today and quit being a weekend warrior.

I've got a test early in the morning tmr and I behave like I got nothing at all.
I can't wait to get inked later. With Domo and C and my two of my favourite classmates there.. I'm scared I cry if it gets too painful. Lol. I don't really cry.. I only cry when I think I'm going to die either bcos of pain or heartbreak. HAHA.
But anw, you never knw. Even though C assured me.. I'm still afraid. And if it happens, ohman, so paiseh.

I really lost the mojo to blog and my sister is telling me about her story book. I'm hardly tuning in but I'm just nodding my head. Lol, cannot believe that just last night, she asked me to shut up and slammed the door on me.
If I didn't control, I would have asked her what was her fucking problem. I don't really say vulgarities, you knw? (must be all my poly mates that has influenced me, bitch has become our everyday language)
Ah well, we're sisters.
How angry can we ever get with each other?

Comparing myself to the old me, I'm very much slack now.
That's why I am at where I am right now.
With determination, I will reach where I want to be.
Yea, I will.
Last thing I really need right now is a freaking distraction.

I am tired, I think I am going to slp already.
Even though my classmates and I talk about almost the exact same thing everyday, sch's never boring with them around.
With so much class politics, I'm quite glad to say that my group of friends are just the listeners and not actually part of it. You knw? Like not being involved, not backstabbing each other...
:D

I'm going to get inked. I told my mom that I want to but I haven't told her I'm GOING to. So........ maybe tmr? Lol.

I wanted to blog but I feel like I lost my mojo again.
I am out of canoeing and I feel bad.
But it beats having the shirt and then later quit right.
There's a mock test tmr which I'm absolutely unprepared for.
MY GRP SCORED THE HIGHEST FOR THE THE HNT PROJECT! 0:D

I forgoed church again. I've been sleeping 2-3hours past bedtime for the past few nights, one was because I was watching GG, the other was bcos I was hanging out with my cousins.. I'm sorry that I did not hang out with you guys (meaning V, D,... ) \:
My cousin is leaving on tues night for her attachment and the other will leave before the other comes back.
Everyone's leaving :(
I hope D doesn't leave in the morning otherwise I wont be able to send her off, AGAIN.

Went for the musical last night where I believed I have behaved really unexpectedly. My friends must be horribly embarrassed. Thanks Ann even though she is more than likely not to read this. HAHA.
She's a caveman that only crawls into the modern society once in a while. Sigh.

I had a dream of my teeth having a gap. It's a nightmare,truly. It doesn't help when D said my teeth is getting slanted. I must be eating too much.......... what? I don't knw. -_-

I'm not durian head, I'm Zeus. hahahahahaha

What did I say about durians? Oh, it turns out that my brother bought some of them back with his girlfriend earlier. After much persuasion from.. who? No one else but me. Actually no la, my sister. Hahaha I did not eat as much as I used to. My stomach must be getting smaller :D
I am finally going for the 9am lecture tmr, wish me.. all the best. If you're in my class or you knw my daily activities, you will knw that the only time I ever made it to the 9am lect was on the first week they ever had lectures. And then that was that, till now.. I hope I will really wake up and drag myself there.
It's time for some serious self discipline.
Turns out that the lect that I forgoed today was actually canceled! Thank God I felt incredibly lazy to go to my sch.. othewise I would have spent my hours cursing over there.

Steph said my blog was getting too happy.
Issit better this way or would you rather I be an emonemo? |:

I spent today watching Gossip girls. I couldn't bring myself to watch it earlier cos.. it seemed too cheesy -_-
But anw, I was totally bored after watching a babbooon took a baby away in Africa, so I decided to watch that show.
And now, I think I'm quite hooked on it.
The two leads. They're gorgeous *.*

My msn is being such a bitch. Grrrrr.

I woke up the latest AGAIN today despite sleeping the earliest. I only woke up at 0950 and my mom and sister were outta sight. I think they went to help in the filming.
My dad was already preparing.. brunch. My brother was about to go into the showers before I managed to chiong in before him and took my place at the throne in the toilet. *laughs
HAHA so sorry it's been so long since I did that kind of star* thing. It's amusing me right now.

I'm not going to church today bcos I strongly think I will fall aslp since I can only stay awake in pastor prince's or mark's or whoever's except some caucasian's sermon.

Domo came over to my place ytd and we tried playing Wii. I'm the owner and I didn't manage to figure out how to use the remote as a steering wheel before she could.
She says my house is like NTUC which I agree. I got almost everything, from almost all the diff kinds of fruits (if she came later at night, there would actually be the real durian sitting on the table waiting for someone none other than yours truly to come eat), to all the diff colours of choc (not pink yellow or red choc, i mean dark white and milk la haha), to diff kinds of ice creams. Ok I shouldn't go on.. but there's one thing that I really have all diff kinds. I've got durian chips, frozen durian, and fresh durian!!!
I'm sorry but it's not my fault. I admit I was crazy over durian last time but now.. it's too much. Cannot take it already, my dad is feeding me with too much of it. I'm getting sick of chocolates too.


Met up with V and D later at our favourite (haha) hangout.
Before that, I think the ppl at the mrt station thought I was about to bomb the place. Esp since Domo made me repeat what she sang.
"Sex bomb sex bomb, you're my sex bomb" LOL.

Went to V's place and we made an amazing discovery over there.
We realized that the colour of my leg, my toes is the same colour as her parquet floor. You knw those wood lookalike floor?
If you knw, you will know how dark my leg is right now.
And it's not funny at all that everytime I meet them again, somewhr will grow bigger. Whether it's there.. or there.
Geeeeeeeeeeez.

:(

I was looking at my reflection in the mirror just a few minutes ago and I just realized how superbly black I am.
Like burnt black, black. I'm no longer coffee coloured, my black is, the carbon burnt part of bread colour that I always bite first whenever I eat the bread that my mom bakes.
I woke up the latest today despite sleeping the earliest.
It's not like I woke up at 12, I woke up at 9 plus plus. And my house is almost empty, with my brother already all dressed up to go for his job interview.
My father went for an adventure race (so cute haha). I think my mother and sister went to help with the filming.. uhmmmm.

It's been so long since I touched any weights and the paddle, no wonder my arms are aching from ytd's paddling. Ok maybe it's bcos it's The time of the month. Hahahahaa.
That explains my moody-ness.

I feel like running a marathon, like go get myself burnt even more (im just kidding) under the hot sun right now and just run till... I feel I should stop. But I knw I won't, bcos if I'm really this crazy.. I'd already be on the quest of going around the world on barefoot.
I don't think I'm speaking any sensible stuff this morning.
If this is a sign, I think it can only be that I just need a new kick in my life.

Lol.

I thought my blog was quite hard to find bcos my friends have been trying to google it. And like after quite a long time, there are still some that hasn't quite figured my link out yet.
And yet, it is still not as discreet as what I would like to think it is bcos.. I still find my link on blogs that I don't personally knw the person or, am not linked to.

Uhm. Sam might be reading this. So, hello! haha
I think I am going to be more careful in what I type about canoeing here already haha for eg, the real reasons why I pon trg.
I will shut up :D I will still go for trg..

I'm damn sian today, I took a cab down to sch at 1330.
I was procrastinating and I gave up. I went to sch and was on time.
I had my sister (haha it's a HE btw) to help me print my project so in the end, when initially thought I would be rushing like mad, I could actually have enough time to stroll to the clubhouse.
Ok la I did not stroll, but from the time I got there and the time that we started, I could walk to and fro more than once.


Seriously, what's wrong with me today.
I am in the mood for those 90s songs.

I am so bored, like seriously bored bored.
I am browsing through ljs, blogs and.. what else are there.
I am so lazy to go for class but I will go go go go go go go.
I've been way too much a slacker already.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
But maybe I will let myself be a slacker for one more day...... :D

I've received comments abt my blog being emo.
Didn't really bother abt it till Steph commented on it again..
So OK I will make my blog not emo.
It's not intentional that my blog is emo, it's the way I type.
I find it hard to type happily.
Ok, this is my first attempt.
:D I am so happy today :D
bcos I saw D today :D
We went back to PL today :D
And I met quite a few ppl :D
I wanted to see the new sec 1s but gave up :D

....
I think I fail. Hahaha

"You've got wits,
You've got looks,
You've got passion,
But I swear that you've got me all wrong."

Today I went to sch early but became late bcos I was waiting for my friend to chiong to the lift in heels.
Today I had presentation and it kinda sucked but I did what I could, and.. although honestly, I think I could have done more, it's all over. So what the heck.
Today I went for trg. I'm getting.. quite.. hmmm. I don't know what to describe.
My mom rather I quit, she's scared I faint and drown in the reservoir/sea.
Like those dragonboat-ers, the guy that recently drowned.
My friend and I came up with this weird bet that I cannot eat pao, she cannot eat watermelon.
Eh my blog very boring.
I don't even knw why I'm typing all this shit out.
Ohyaaaa, I was watching L word in my sch's library to pass my time.
Awesome!

Yay yay yay
^^

I'm waiting for time to pass till 11 before I leave my house to go to ubin.
My parents dont even knw I'm going there, they're alway in genting.
My mom called last night to give both my sister and I a goodnight kiss. Awwwww :D
I think my dad must have done smth very sweet or smth, my mom is extraordinarily..... hmm. Close. HA-ha.

This is room is so hot..
So I really skip trg last night and came home to eat the oilest pasta I've ever eaten bcos there was another guy there so I am technically not the brightest lightbulb anymore.
I did not really eat the pasta bcos, I honestly really don't like it. But I tried the garlic bread and chicken.
I won't say my brother's cooking failed.... but, I think he could have done much better.
I had a hard time washing the grease off the pan. Eew.

I suddenly appreciate my mom's cooking more than ever. Speaking of whom.. THEY ARE COMING BACK TONIGHT.
Shit I behave like they went for a whole entire year when they only went for 2days.

My sister is off at my grandma's place..... my brother is at home... Lazing...


yes no maybe so? :) :| :(

Ubin ubin ubin!

I'm waiting for the cd to be ripped before I go off to bed..
I've got a new phone, N81 ( yeah I knw the model is abit old but i really like it alot!!) and.. A new lappy.
BUT unfortunately, I dropped Redish (my red psp) and it is now spoilt. It'd need 100dollars to repair them.. This is the time where I really wish $$ would just drop them from heaven literally.
Imagine if money could really drop down.... $.$ seriously..

My parents are currently at Genting, again again again. AGAIN!!!
UH, this time, they went for 2days. Normally they go for 1 day only..
:(
This is called, missing the folks syndrome.

My hands are aching, but I still don't feel like running. I had a scare of my knees behaving weirdly so from now till I arrive in Thailand, I am going to swim swim swim.

This is so random, but I don't knw how I look girly. I cannot rmb. HAHAHA.
I think I'm too ego, bcos I am not straight neither am I crooked. I don't like anyone or at least I don' think I do.
Uh, this is a sign, I love myself too much ah-ha!
I'm skipping trg tmr bcos, I wanna be home to be the brightest lightbulb at home. My brother is cooking and his gf is coming over.
Sorry la, if I don't stay home, my sister will be the brightest lightbulb. Must save her, LAH.

Done ripping, I'm going off to bed.
Ohyeah, I've kinda shifted to my brother's ex room.
My sister is too noisy for my slp

I look like a zombie now bcos there's purple mud on my face. This mud is known to help soothe the face, it's not called facial...
Oh who am I kidding. There's a facial mask on my face now. Been pretty long since I put it.

Today was an ordinary day for all of you but it was different for me. I woke up early.. to go for mini mini marathon. Hahahaha it's my first and it's a 5km race.
(All of us need to start small) I came in 3rd for my category. Seems like my legs can make a living of its own. ^^v

It's so fast, sch is reopening tmr. I was laying in bed last night, thinking, considering my options. I wonder if I should quit canoeing. Sometimes, I don't find myself up to it. Or rather, I don't feel like pushing myself too hard sometimes too. When I knw my limit, I will want to push it. I don't knw my limit yet so I don't want to push it. I knw you don't understand what I'm talking but I do.
And another downside, I don't wanna have a lightbulb shape... :(

My sister is reciting japanese phrases now.. my dad has been buying much durian.. My parents are going genting (AGAIN OMG) this thurs. For 2 days, this time. I think they got a family there that I don't knw that they're abandoning the ones they have now in sgp.

2nd of July, come quick!

I am feeling super warm now. I feel like slping.
I slept late and woke up early today for trg. It was raining so we barely did anything except to do many pushups and jumping jacks under the rain. That was our punishment bcos we disappeared without telling the captain or anybody that we went to play seesaw and dino rides. =|
Hmmm... my mom steamed pau for me last night and baked bread for cherry and I. She's scared we'd starve to death when she goes to Genting (YES, again) with my father.
I reckon they're going there before the fuel prices shoot up even higher. But I'm going to BKK next month! Yes, you got that right. Next month. Got school, I knw. But off peak and I'd only miss 1 tutorial :D
Zzzzz The only reason I'm not taking a nap right now is bcos I'm dying trying to find a hotel.

Ok. :0 im yawning.


093467

I thought I heard some packing of bags.. But nah, I must imagining things.
Isit bad of me as a daughter to wish that her parents are seperated.
It's not all the time that I'm like that, but on a night like this, after what we talked..
You two are better off without each other sometimes.
I feel suffocated in this place too. And we wonder why we can't live happily ever after.
If there was no love in the first place, why marry?
The reason I don't wanna marry is almost as if it's because the marraiges I see that plays a part in my life don't work as well as everybody else wants them to be.
Yeah I knw, there are always ups and downs. But why do we only rmb the downs.
I stay here, I don't knw if you knw, what you say or do, it hurts.
Am I not good enough for you that things are not how it's supposed to be.
Can you tell that I am working hard too? Why do you only see the side where I am not as good.
Indeed, we're all humans. We are all quick to judge, all quick to pinpoint the mistakes of others.
You said you failed as a wife, a mom.
Seems like despite what I've tried to do, tried to show, I've failed as yr daughter too.

I am so... slpy. I'm sitting on my bed now as I type this out.
My parents are on their way back now from Genting, I hope.
The house is pretty quiet without my mother stressing herself out in the house.
I'm really going to fall aslp in a few minutes time. The aircon is blowing my eyes close.
Went for the amazing race ytd, my team is DE best. We gave up on the first station, we were super turned off by the "The quest, the quest..." cheer. Wanna guess what our first station was about? Find 3 flowers in botanical garden and draw it. It's... not hard if we were really enthu about it. It was just that we were tired and rather more in the mood to do smth stupid so we kinda stopped. Kudos to those that finished and won the prize anw. Hahaha.
We wanted to watch a movie, but 2 of them didnt wanna watch narnia and I didnt wanna watch chocolat. Too much time was spent on deciding what we wanted to do, before we know it, we were on the bus to the finishing point to collect our goodie bags.
I was psycho-ing them to give up, it's so far.
But noo... we went and we left the place with 13 goodie bags.
We are a group of 5. We left with 13 goodie bags.
Don't look at me, I took only one 1! My team mates, they're incredible. We seperated the stuff inside, I got one that has all the milo now. Going to bring that for the rest during trg, obviously. Too much milo can kill me. Hahaha. We each took magazines and my friend took back the excess to uh, sell to garung guni. -_-

Well that aside, I sat a motorcycle home on friday night!!!!!!!!!!
It was damn cool and, dangerous la of cos. My mother was on the verge of freaking out when I told her that I sat a motorbike home. Yeah.. okay, I won't take it again. But I won't deny that it IS a fun experience. And if the dangers aren't there, I will certainly take it again. :D:D Heh heh.

The ppl that are filming at my place are wasting my time. Not that it's my brother's fault, it's the ppl. I stayed home ytd and they didn't come.
I could have gone to Paddy's party or smth but hmm. I needed to stay home.
They're coming later, they better. Otherwise.. I'd steal the laptop that is downstairs.

I've got 2 tests coming up next week. I failed my intH&T test. How did that happen? I was clueless as to what to study, I didn't go study.
Tell me how to get scholarship like that.
=(

My timetable don't look intimidating now, but.. in a matter of A month, I think I'd be in a panic.
Projects due one after another, it's only the first semester and I have this unspoken fear inside me. Yet I need to make this work, I cannot and won't allow myself to fail if I want to have a scholarship.
I need to push myself very hard. But one part of me is ignoring what I'm telling myself, I have this urge to just sleep thru tmr's morning.
... It's just lecture.
Grrrr.

My brother's in one of the countries in Europe.
2 rooms in my house are gonna be used for filming purposes, a show for kids central.
A close friend (i'm not sure if i can put her name..) got a tattoo today.
I'm getting mine next year on 15 apr. It has been on my mind for 2 years! The thought would have been fulfilled if I had known what design I wanted but anyway, I shall start thinking of what I wanna have on my ankle. I think ankles are nice. .. yes no? Haha
School and trgs have been nice and fun.
It's more like a playtime.

Don't doubt me, I love my family very much. But there are just times, all I wanna do is be away from them and live Anywhr else but here.

I know it's been long..
Quite a few events happened recently and I sincerely hope that my period is coming bcos I was on the verge of tears when I heard a certain someone would be leaving.
I don't want to be stuck in the same cycle.
My mom's bday and mother's day happened last/this week.
I have this weird obsession with pao now and I think my mother is more than happy to make them for me. She's so enthusiastic when it comes to things I wanna eat that's related to bread, rice whichever whatever. HAHA. She's been making them non stop, ok la, thats also bcos I've been bugging her to make different kinds of pao for me.

Awwwww, sense the mother love now? HAHA
Ok i'm kidding.
I am going to slp now, i have a longggg day tmr. Its not funny at all.
But like I told R, sch's fun fun fun fun fun. (Or so we psycho ourselves to believe hahaha)

Ni hon ga wa ka ri ma sen.
Ei go ga wa ka ri mas ka?
I can still rmb simple phrases of where is the ___ in japanese. It's quite funny bcos when I asked, I didn't understand the reply. LOL.
I've been traveling a hell lot but my mother is no better, she's currently in Bangkok. After.. uh, 1 week? from Tokyo
Anw,
It's just a brief number of photographs of there. It's nice but sometimes I feel it's overrated. And I realize why they used transparent umbrellas. The wind there is so strong, they need transparent umbrella so that they can block the wind infront of the them and be able to walk forward.
Hahaha not like sgp will ever need that la. So, this is Tokyo, Japan. ^^
Did I tell you, I bought myself Wii? hahahahahaha

I.. have no mood to blog. I am having orientation tmr and I'm thinking of reasons not to go orientations. I hate orientations, you knw? Ok, actually I'm just thinking of reasons not to get up early in the morning.
I am so upset that I blew up my Wii adapater.
Or rather, I am so upset hoping that it's the adapter that I blew up last night and not the console.

These are just less than a quarter of the pictures taken from my previous trip in Beijing and Hong Kong. We, or rather my sis, took the pictures (she's aspiring to be a photographer btw) Anyway.. let them do the talking for the time being.























Domo, V, C, D, whoever, I miss you.
And so sorry, domo, I will really buy red bean pancake if I see one ok. And bring back somemore r...wife's biscuit for you.
Till then, I'd see you guys.
Happy tahan-ing the raising temps in Sgp, I'd be chilling my ass off in TOKYO/HONGKONG ^^