let me feel your fire

I wonder how it'll be like this time next year.

Will I be working in a job I actually enjoy? Will I be the same as how I am? Will I be feeling the same as how I am feeling at this time of the year?

I wonder, I wonder.

I feel like the longer I work at my current work place, the more I feel undervalued, and I feel like my knowledge of what I actually learnt in uni is slowly dwindling. I am slowly being overcome by insecurities, my fears and my inadequacies.

It's always so easy to surrender to those feelings. But I must remember that this isn't my battle to fight. If there's a battle, it isn't mine to fight. Although if there is a battle to be fought, it had already been fought for and won. And now, all I really need to do is claim my victory.

Now, I just have to remember all this on a daily basis. As I say, it is always so easy to fall into a self deprecating stance, but I know, I know, the battle has already been won and now I just need to claim My victory.

That being said, I got my infringement notice just today. If only they work fast in everything else... (obviously still not over the fine.)

My whole body is aching, and I really just want to merge with my bed and not move for an entire day.

I actually can't wait to get back to my family in Singapore. I know there'll be days where I really wish I am back here because there is this sense of serenity that Singapore just can't replicate.. and my room is really just not my room back there. ..but as I told my mother a few days back, home isn't quite so home here without them.