Time

 Time will tell. 

I was full of hate last night and utterly irrational. Today morning, I carried a little of hate and I carried a little irrational with me. All the things I am doing... is it worth it? Tho I recon there will never be a good outcome if we measured things in a black and white scale. If its worth it then I will do it. If not, then I will not. 

Cause sometimes even when it is worth every inch of you, sometimes it may not be enough. I may not know what I am talking about in the years to come. Some days I fear I forget why I exist and I forget my purpose. 

Yes, I am heartbroken in a way I can't tell anybody. I can't share the extent how much this hurts. I can only keep on smiling. And when I said I was not deluded, it was a lie. Nobody knows because she's right - I am that good a liar.